One of my best friends is writing a novel. As of what he is writing about, I'm not quite sure. I think like anyone trying to make anything he is making it along as he goes. Hoping at some point the dots will connect. Sometimes it's better that way. Often times you learn more from making things than things that's already been made. I think if there is any big secret it's to just start doing things. Start living life. Not having any real expectations, but having a check list as you move along. Everyone has some kind of check list whether you think that hard about it. Go to college. Check. Or don't go to college. Check. Get a job. Check. Meet the right person to settle down with. Check. Or never settle down. Check. Maybe have some kids along the way. Check. And at some point...retire?
For all the effort life requires it's like all the energy we should be spending being open and ready for new experiences we are waiting for the ones we already planned in our minds. Doesn't that sound crazy? Or completely out of our control? We couldn't possibility know how every detail of our life will be mapped out. I don't think it works like that. One of my favorite scenes from any movie is in Forrest Gump when he says, "Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time."
That never made sense to me until recently. I think we see what we want to see, and I think more importantly we're ready to learn some of the greatest lessons in life when we're ready and supposed to. When we're open, and ready.
Got to produce this record with Khaliq
2014 was a quiet but interesting year. I graduated from college, went on a three week road trip through the Black Hills with my gal Christine
Moved up to MPLS
and after trial and error found myself a job that will let me get back to work on LITW.
There were times where I made foolish decisions.
Yet, times I couldn't help but think that things were working out in my favor.
Nonetheless, I have been pretty quiet if not nonexistent about LITW.
So the question arises where do I go from here?
Whenever I'm having a difficult time trying to decide which decision to make I am often reminded of the words of Neil Gaiman. Keep making decisions that will take you closer to your mountain. Your seemingly unachievable goal that nevertheless keeps you enthusiastic and passionate about life. Your own personal legend.
If you haven't quite found that yet then keep searching, and stay curious as Steve Jobs would advise. It's curiosity that will keep you coming back for more when life applies her pressure on you. However, that doesn't answer the question of what's next for LITW?
Most of my music has been made in solitude. Whether that has been a good or bad experience, I have been aching to meet other people who share a similar calling.
Luckily, I have been fortunate to meet some pretty talented people. The #Freelivin crew is a talented group of artists based out of St. Paul that are going to do some big things in the coming years and it's not just their talent that makes them great. It's their work ethic and perspective to only produce authentic music. I was lucky enough to be able to work with them on a couple of their track tracks and I'm very excited for Why's new album. Throughout the course of this next year I hope to meet more artists like the #Freelivin crew and influence LITW into what I believe it can become. I hope to be able to share my experiences with other artists as well.
@WhyKhaliq @CamonClouds @TezzyTheManager
If there is anything that MPLS and St. Paul has taught me so far it's that its people respect authentic music and artists that expose their vulnerability for the sake of making something transparent and genuine. Rather than living in this fleeting moment of youth, it is the legacy of integrity that is truly valued. While the cities may have their stark differences they are united by their rich history and appreciation for this particular counterculture.
2014 was a quiet but interesting year and I'm excited to embrace 2015. I'm prepared to share LITW with you every step of the way. Step outside the borders of my apartment walls and sail off to the digital realm. Perhaps, even play a couple of shows.
So here we are. Maybe where everyone else is. In between. In the middle of obscurity.
Or maybe. We're just fine. In between where we started, and our own mountain in plain sight.
I just want to say thank you to everybody who has ever supported my music. I am very excited about this mixtape and for future projects. On that note, I want to give a special shout out to Benjamin Lau for helping me mix and produce “The Pursuit.” I could have put this thing out months ago but thanks to Ben, we waited awhile and really put out a quality product that we are both proud of. I hope everyone will download “The Pursuit”, and will be able to relate to some of the songs at different times in their lives. I’ve poured myself into these songs over the last two years and I can’t wait to get back to work.
We start things everyday. We daydream of the possibilities of life and say aloud how those ideas defines us. How many of those ideas see an end? How many things in your life can you honestly say you do exceptionally well? How often have you been able to say that you have walked through hell and back and made it through alive? Even worse, instead of admitting to ourselves that we have fallen off the beaten path, it seems easier to simply try another road. Would recognizing this ignorance mean failure?
With everything in my life I struggle with following through. Finishing what I’ve started. It’s also one of the very few things in life I have control over. I falter because of many reasons. Fear of rejection, indecisiveness, lack of focus, but most of all I falter because of comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it can suck the passion right out of you. I start because I’m passionate, but struggle because I compare my situation to everyone else. I think, “I wish I had that persons characteristics”, or “I could never be like them”. But I don’t want to live like this. None of us have to live or feel like this.
We at any given time are in complete control of how we feel and react to the chaos that is constantly moving around us. However, it’s hard to remember that. Sometimes we need someone else to help us remember that. Sometimes you need someone to WAKE YOU UP. Whether we want to admit it or not, our happiness is very much co-dependent on the happiness of other people. By reaching out to others you might be able to help them appreciate how special they are, and in return get something back yourself. I am very fortunate to have someone in my life that keeps me accountable day by day.
Lost in the wild, encompasses everything I struggle with and hope to make my way out of. It’s about accepting the journey through the worst of times and keeping the path. It’s acknowledging life for what you’ve been given and what you hope to gain. It’s about asking for help, even when you think you’re too lost to be found.
For must of us coming to age we will spend the remainder of our lives searching, or wandering down these roads with no awareness of why.
Perhaps it’s better to move the legs than to sit still and suffer in the agony of stagnation?
Perhaps it is better to see the world than simply the four walls of our bedrooms?
Or perhaps it is better to be lost, than to never start at all?
The twisted roads of the wild can be terrifying as a symbol of the unknown. The uncertainty of the future, your future, is what fuels the fear in your head, and the doubt in your heart.
Sometimes the hurt in your chest is the only real thing in the way of you letting go of the possibility of a new day.
There comes a time in your life, when you come to the realization that you have been asleep for much too long.
We see glimpses of this world with our eyes open, and we call this hope. For a brief moment, the young and desperate kids are no longer lost at sea. Instead, we’re able to set course on our lives.
No longer dictated by the expectations of the waves we ride. The only real thing of value in our lives is time. The distance from the day we are born to the day we die. Although I know that in 100 years, time won’t mean a thing. I’ll be long gone, dead gone, end this suffering.
Perhaps it is better not to wonder why, and simply live the best we can. Day by day. Perhaps, just maybe, we need a little bit of suffering in our lives, to figure out how we all fit into this picture called life.
There is always time to start over. There is always enough time to be lost, found, and in between. Because the truth of our lives. Is that none of us are perfect.
But god damn, we’re working on it. So when you’re ready, stop your crying. And don’t you dare, start giving up.